If you drop your Clif Bar and Eload Gel in the forest will anyone hear you scream?
(When you are starving 60 minutes later and discover them missing)? (:
I am sitting exhausted and slightly drunk 7 hrs after finishing just 2/3 of an amazing Adventure Race today, the 3rd Annual Logs Rocks and Steel. It takes place in beautiful (and, rugged) Haliburton, nearDorset , two hours NE of Toronto. It's actually billed as an Off-Road Triathlon with a paddle in lieu of a swim. "No navigation required" is how they advertise this, and McDonald's claims that they have healthy food on their menu too.
I would rather have swam in a murky pond with tall weeds than go through that "paddle" again. Or babysit 4 kids under 4. But more about that later....let's talk about Bob Millar the Race Organizer and my friend Bill Wells first.
This unique race was actually created by a couple of extreme athletes, so I should have thought about that before I entered and then trained very little this summer. Bob Millar and his team mates like Chiropractor Bill Wells race around the world in multi-day races such as this one, so it's kinda cool to race on their practice turf! Google their names and put adventure race after, see what pops up.
I bumped into Bill when Steve and I checked in late the nite prior. For those new here, Steve Jones is my Go-To Adventure Racing partner, now our 4th time racing together over the years. He's a friend from the running club days, and really into hard core experiences such as ironman triathlons, extended canoe trips into the wilderness and commuting daily throughToronto Mississauga Scarborough , where he grew up, so that says it all.
When he trains for his annual marathons, he drinks virtually no water and sport drink on his long runs, so I don't feel guilty when he refuses to drink from my camel back 90 minutes into our 2hr trail run today. He's the perfect racing partner in these events, a seasoned pro, tough as nails. Until I ask him to check his map and he asks "what map"?
But enough about the fittest 52 year old on the planet, back to Bill Wells!
P.D."How are you expecting to do tomorrow?.... I ask, a pretty natural thing to say on the eve of an epic day of racing, with someone who has stood on more than a few podiums.
B.W. "Well I was 2nd last year (by 5 minutes – despite getting lost for 18 minutes on the bike) so I am going for first place again.
P.D. "Wow, are you in better shape this year?"
B.W. "I finished 4th in 2 weeks ago in a half-ironman triathlon, but Jacob Van Dorp (last years Logs Rocks Steel winner) was , so he's fitter too".
(Sounds like Rocky 2 shaping up tomorrow in the forest)
Ed note - I too did a few training races to warm up for this, but somehow a 90 minute race at the recent Toronto Triathlon doesn’t seem quite enough! Not to mention last nite instead of stretching, visualizing and loading up on a Power Smoothie I drank a few Coronas, ate an entire bag of Sun Chips and watched the U.S.Open till midnite.
(When you are starving 60 minutes later and discover them missing)? (:
I am sitting exhausted and slightly drunk 7 hrs after finishing just 2/3 of an amazing Adventure Race today, the 3rd Annual Logs Rocks and Steel. It takes place in beautiful (and, rugged) Haliburton, near
 |
| This is the canoe Steve and I had to haul over 9 portages, we hate you Bob! |
I would rather have swam in a murky pond with tall weeds than go through that "paddle" again. Or babysit 4 kids under 4. But more about that later....let's talk about Bob Millar the Race Organizer and my friend Bill Wells first.
This unique race was actually created by a couple of extreme athletes, so I should have thought about that before I entered and then trained very little this summer. Bob Millar and his team mates like Chiropractor Bill Wells race around the world in multi-day races such as this one, so it's kinda cool to race on their practice turf! Google their names and put adventure race after, see what pops up.
I bumped into Bill when Steve and I checked in late the nite prior. For those new here, Steve Jones is my Go-To Adventure Racing partner, now our 4th time racing together over the years. He's a friend from the running club days, and really into hard core experiences such as ironman triathlons, extended canoe trips into the wilderness and commuting daily through
When he trains for his annual marathons, he drinks virtually no water and sport drink on his long runs, so I don't feel guilty when he refuses to drink from my camel back 90 minutes into our 2hr trail run today. He's the perfect racing partner in these events, a seasoned pro, tough as nails. Until I ask him to check his map and he asks "what map"?
But enough about the fittest 52 year old on the planet, back to Bill Wells!
P.D."How are you expecting to do tomorrow?.... I ask, a pretty natural thing to say on the eve of an epic day of racing, with someone who has stood on more than a few podiums.
B.W. "Well I was 2nd last year (by 5 minutes – despite getting lost for 18 minutes on the bike) so I am going for first place again.
P.D. "Wow, are you in better shape this year?"
B.W. "I finished 4th in 2 weeks ago in a half-ironman triathlon, but Jacob Van Dorp (last years Logs Rocks Steel winner) was , so he's fitter too".
(Sounds like Rocky 2 shaping up tomorrow in the forest)
Ed note - I too did a few training races to warm up for this, but somehow a 90 minute race at the recent Toronto Triathlon doesn’t seem quite enough! Not to mention last nite instead of stretching, visualizing and loading up on a Power Smoothie I drank a few Coronas, ate an entire bag of Sun Chips and watched the U.S.Open till midnite.
B.W. “Are you guys ready and fit for tomorrow (or something polite like that)?”
P.D. “Oh yeah, but we’re not that serious, we even made sandwhiches”! (famous last words, seriously)
Good luck Bill!
Race Morning
So Steve and I took off on the first leg, a 15km Trail Run followed by the paddle section of 16km, with "3" portages (advertised). Within seconds my trusty sidekick is down, 100 yards into the run, I guess we should have found a coffee this morning. Wearing his road running shoes wasn't a good idea either, but that's Steve. Between his retro, minimalist clothing and gear (his mountain bike has pedals more suitable to a cruiser) and my skimpy 1999 run shorts with "Ride for Karen" cycling socks we kinda show up at the starting line unprepared. That’s why we don’t do these every month.
To be fair it was raining and the majority of the run made a typical 5Peaks Trail Race look like a walk on the beach. Logs, Rocks, Moss, Broken Twigs, Hidden Tree Roots, Slippery Canadian Shield and Steel would be a better race title. In fact, we found racer #1’s bib on the ground, Jacob Van Dorp, who actually has his own web-site – www.vandorpracing.com. Surely that cannot be a good sign when the fastest competitor loses his race bib due to the terrain….
Oh, and mud...swamps, bogs and a whole bunch of rain turned the 15km run into a 2hr struggle. And it didn't help our cause when we were passed by a female solo racer. Personally, I don't mind, since my Ironman 2 years ago I am at peace with my career. She looked very fit and experienced and Steve was okay with this one. However, a few km's later when the 2nd gal shuffles by straight out of a Running Room 1/2 marathon clinic, wearing a new Lance Armstrong "Livestrong" cycling top no less, well that was too much for Steve.
I had been struggling as usual after 45 minutes with my tight Soas muscles, a long-ago tennis injury that resurfaced after 4-5 years of heavy volume running. Combined with a lot of time sitting in a chair (working) and on a bike the last few years, it’s an unusual “injury” that is treatable with a lot of stretching and deep tissue manual active release therapy.
Who the heck has time for all that anymore!
So I have to stop and stretch a few times and take walking breaks, but Steve is chomping at the bit, and for someone who began racing in the late 1970’s with a 2:50 marathon p.b. he’s old school and has his breaking point. Me? The more women in tight shorts who pass me, the better vantage point in my opinion, Girl Power has my vote!
Steve is clearly not happy, he’s picked up the pace, he’s mumbling under his breath and his fists are clenched, precisely why I pick him for these zany adventures! We’re also soaked, from head to toe. The rain continues to fall, and even in the canopy of the forest we’re getting pelted from above, while a river crossing and numerous puddles / swamps / bogs have soaked our feet many times over.
Finally we reach our canoe, 2hrs later, starved of course and eager to rest our legs. As a rule in these events I carried a camel back with our First Aid supplies, emergency thermal blankets, whistles, emergency sport gels and 2-liter water supply. I was smart and experienced enough to bring dozens of various sport bars, gels, liquid fuel options and other snacks to keep our tummies filled while we navigated through mother nature’s finest terrain. I was stupid enough to leave everything in the car, back at the starting line!
“Steve, I can’t find ANY bars in here, we’re screwed! All I have our these two e-load gels, what about you?” My trusty team-mate nervously hands over a half-eaten bar, knowing full well it could be the last fuel we have as we embark on 16km’s of paddling and portaging. What are team-mates for after all, I did provide breakfast at of fruit and stale, cold potaoes….
As we pull on our $110 swank, sporty life jackets from MEC, I see a Clif Bar and E-load Gel in the convenient pockets where you would smartly store this emergency food. “Wait, I did bring something afterall, yippee”….as I unzip the pocket and show off my stash, like a proud 14-year old showing off a toad scooped out of a pond. It was like I found an unclaimed lottery ticket worth a million dollars so valuable these 400 calories were.
Of course in my excitement putting them back I failed to zip up the pocket, some lucky hiker or wandering rodent will hopefully enjoy these trail offerings one day in the future.
THE PADDLE
The paddle / portage was breathtaking, as promised by the race organizers and testimonials from past participants. Despite the cloud, rain, fog and inclement weather, we mixed our consistent strokes with expressions of “wow”, “look at that” and extended of silent stares of the beauty surrounding us. Some of the small lakes were void of any human contact, and what few cottages we saw were cute, simple and a breath of fresh air from the many new, modern “cottages” I was used to seeing and sleeping in Muskoka. There were even some cool wall-like rock facings that were tempting to climb and jump below into the warm, inviting waters. I found myself constantly dipping my hands through the water to enjoy the sensation of clean, bath-like water, but also do clean the mud from each portage!
We also enjoyed many “breath-taking” moments hauling this large, rather heavy canoe (compared to everyone else’s kayaks and rented canoes). We won’t re-print what was said after our 6th portage, over a kilometer long, up and down slippery, narrow, rock-covered trails. We felt more like movers carrying a Grand Piano on a winding staircase, with broken treads! We were finally rewarded with a short, small paddle over lily pads, around displaced logs and clumps of mud sitting on the surface. Crazy stuff!
But the (pick one) “piece de resistance” was the swamp? beaver dam pond? Home of the Bog Monster? we mucked through for 100 yards to reach yet another heavenly piece of land. Imagine gingerly placing your foot outside the comfy confines of a canoe, and carefully placing it on what appears to be the surface. The first step is fine, like Neil Armstrong’s nervous first step on the moon must have felt like. You breathe a sigh of relief. The next step, WHOMP, your foot disappears and never touches the bottom, only your mid-section (called BALLS on a guy) stops your leg from ending up in China. After you recover from the shock and wonder if something alive down there has been disturbed. You pull your leg up so it can gasp at fresh air. You can only hope that your stinking, wet sock has discouraged something living below this disgusting piece of earth is taken aback by the smell and isn’t ready to make a meal out of you just yet.
It’s at precisely this point that we wonder why we didn’t sleep in 6 hours ago.
 |
| Some of the paddling was truly spectacular! |
Needless to say, Steve and I continue our conversation and wonder if quicksand really exists. “Of course it does Steve, even here in Ontario Algonquin Park
We scarfed down our two emergency gels, and Steve finished his Gatorade bottles, but we were both running out of fuel as we scrambled and screamed our way through the last portage of almost 2 kilometres. At least it was the flattest, and we were still in the company of one remaining solo kayaker from Newmarket
God love my racing partner, but did I mention he was MAD as a HATTER? Now the rain was coming down again. Brutal. The sun had yet to break through the clouds so the wet clothes from mile #2 on the run are still, yes, wet. Our arms were pounding from all the heavy lifting we did over 9 portages at last count. But there was a blessing ahead of us finally, and she was looking prettier than ever, our angel on the water. Melissa was struggling too! “Yes!”, we had to shout, we’re not alone in our misery out here….Indeed, our brave solo Kayaker was going backwards like we were, and appeared to be waiting for us to catch up. “Steve, I believe she’s lost as well”
So we mosy on up beside her Kayak, and look at her dry, fresh map (of course women are organized) for some indication of where to head next. “I think THAT is the Frost Centre over there” motions Melisaa, pointing thru the rain and foggy horizon. “The red building straight ahead”. Now what follows is probably the stupidest sentence in the history of adventure racing. Ever. Worldwide. In history. All time. Stupidist, if that’s really a word.
“No, that’s not the Frost Centre, it’s much further THIS way” (opposite direction, further away from where we started, further away from the two other boats behind us who went THAT way 45 minutes ago). “NO WAY is that the Frost Centre”. Emphatically.
Now please understand that the person (me) saying this has actually never seen the Frost Centre from the lake, or during daylight, or a picture in a magazine, tourism guide or from a plane above. This same person (me) has actually never properly read an adventure racing map and is 0-5 in these types of events that require the study, analysis and execution of map reading. This same person (me), however, actually sounds rather convinced and convinces our poor friend from Newmarket
2 hours later, we found the Frost Centre. And we were frosty, frozen and when we found out we missed the bike cut-off, someone on our team was Frosty Mad.
The Bike
There was no bike….lol
FINISH
So here we are, in my van, which I strategically parked close to the bike transition area, so we could change if needed quickly into our bike clothes, and more importantly we can access those two great sandwhiches I made! Oh, and for the visibility of the logo.
Steve is still fuming. We are officially DNF’ed, but I know we can sneak off and finish the bike portion, which is our strongest talent this summer. I can tell he’s itching to get on his mountain bike. “Buddy, just eat your sandwhich, I’ll turn up the heat, and we’ll get out there and finish this thing.” I look over and Steve is shaking like a leaf. We’ve been off the water for 20 minutes, the heat is full-on inside the van too. “Ah, Steve, I think we’re done for the day……”
 |
| they REALLY were amazing sandwhiches.... |
We are parked 40 yards from the port-o-lets. I look and see a familiar face getting into one. “Look, it’s Bill Wells, he must be finished”.
I look at my watch….impossible. But Bill’s body language and facial expression suggests he is finished the war in the forest (Rambo 6). It isn’t very positive, . I roll down the window, calling him over. “Hey Bill, how was the race?” He walks over, probably thinking those are good-looking sandwhiches. His face is covered in mud, which tells the tale more than any words can.
“I didn’t win, I was 3rd, the run went fine but in my new Kayak all those portages meant lots of scratches….I wasn’t prepared to bust up my new boat today.
?
That sounds like a logical strategy to me. We held back for fear of getting our socks really dirty.
Steve, pass me the corn chips.
Peter
p.s. Congrats to Jacob Van Dorp for winning his 3rd race of the season, adding titles at the Frontier Adventure Challenge , Rockstar and now Logs Rocks and Steel. Up next, the Abu Dhabi Challenge . Sounds tame….
Barb Campbell takes home first place among the women, she’s a three time North American Rogaining champ, Canadian Orienteering Champ (Steve, we follow her next time) and Ski Marathon champ. Both winners get to represent Canada New Zealand
